It was the last straw for me. I haven’t been to the clock tower in over a month. I can’t go back. It hurts too much. When I see Roxas amongst his friends, with Axel and Xion, I feel alone, even when I’m sitting right with them. I can’t explain what it is. Axel seems to know everything, I probably could ask him, but I don’t know if I should. I don’t want Roxas getting wind of how I feel. I’ll just feel guilty if I make him feel bad.
The one action that made me realize was this:
Xion went missing for a few days, and when she came back, she told us she couldn’t use her keyblade anymore. If she couldn’t collect hearts like she’s supposed to, they’ll turn her into a husk. After all, it’s called Organization XIII. Anyone beyond Roxas is cannon fodder.
After some debate, Roxas resolved to do double workload for Xion, and they continue to do missions together. I felt something in my chest being pulled in multiple directions at that point. I felt so distressed, my head spun. I left early. Roxas asked me what was wrong. All I told him was I felt a little dizzy.
I have to let this pass. I can’t be friends with Roxas anymore. He doesn’t need me; and if these feelings towards Xion overflows, there’s no telling what damage I’ll cause. I have to be alone again. I am a Nobody. I was never supposed to have friends in the first place.