A Peculiar Inquiry

I went on a mission alone today. I’ve continued to join Roxas, Xion, and Axel on the clocktower. I was already uncomfortable with Axel, but now that Xion’s there…I was almost finished with my ice cream bar, when Xion suddenly asked:

“Say, Xzylair, do you remember anything? You know, when you were…Somebody?”

I was surprised that she spoke to me. Although, I shouldn’t have been. She tried to talk with me for a while. However, I didn’t have much to say to her. I felt…something bad…towards her. I’m not sure I understand why. I always listened to her and Axel’s conversations with Roxas, but never really added anything to it.

I shook my head.

“No, I don’t.”

“That’s strange,” said Roxas, “I don’t either.”

“Why do you ask, Xion?”

Xion looked down at her empty popsicle stick, shyly.

“It’s strange…I feel like…I know you from somewhere, Xzylair…”

I was even more surprised.

“What makes you say that?”

Xion was quiet for a moment. She was an extremely timid one.

Finally, she said, “You know what? Maybe not…Maybe I just imagined it…”

.

Roxas looked at Axel.

“What about you Axel? Do you have memories of your past?” he inquired.

“Well, yeah! That’s one of the things that makes each member of the Organization
special. We remember who we were as humans” Axel replied.

“But I don’t…” stated Roxas, discouraged.

“Me neither…” said Xion.

I said nothing.

“Well, maybe that right there is what makes you guys the most unique in the Organization” added Axel.

“What were you like when you were human?” Roxas asked.

“Huh? Me? Oh, I dunno. I think I’ve always been pretty much the same.”

“I wish I could remember stuff like that…”

“Really? It’s just baggage, you know.”

“But I–I can’t remember anything. Not even from when I was born a
Nobody!”

“All you did was stare into space.”

Roxas scoffed. “Oh thanks!”

They laughed. But I didn’t. I was too lost in thought. Did Xion and I…Know each other when we were human?

.

When Xion and I pass in the hall, she still stares at me as if she’s trying to place me somewhere…

.

My dream tonight:

.

I couldn’t even tell where I was, all I knew, was that I saw the brown, spiky-haired boy again. The look on his face was confusion and distraught; and that’s because I was yelling at him, furiously.

“It’s always K____! That’s all you and R____ ever talk about! She’s the reason why R___’s  falling to the darkness!”

“K____! You’re not making any sense-!” the boy started.

“You’re not even listening to me! R___’s kidnapping the Princesses of Hearts! He’s trying to open the Door to Darkness! Don’t you care!? We’re losing him! He’s fading away!”

“I don’t understand! Aren’t you concerned about K____’s safety? She’s your friend!”

“She was your friend!” I growled, pointing my finger at him, “She was R____’s friend! The only reason why I ever hung out with you guys is because I had no one!” 

I turned away. “All I had was my Light Friend. But I couldn’t play with him, or draw with him, or collect seashells with him. I couldn’t even touch him! I could only speak to him, far off in the distance…”

I looked back at the boy, eyes flaring with rage.

“All the other kids made fun of me! Even you S___! But R___ didn’t! He thought what I was doing was important! And its clear that I’ve let my priorities shift!” 

I got up, and hopped off a balcony and landed on the floor ofd like to be a giant mouth.

“K____!” I heard a voice cry behind me.

“It’s clear I’m not anyone’s friend, not even R____’s.”

.

“Princesses of Hearts…?” Maybe I should ask someone about it in the morning; and who was my, “Light Friend?”